


In Sickness

by Kaida_Daygona



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Hospital environment, M/M, NSFW, Sadstuck, Sexual Content, Sickness, beta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-12
Updated: 2012-08-08
Packaged: 2017-11-07 13:22:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 22,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/431646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaida_Daygona/pseuds/Kaida_Daygona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave discovers that he's ill and has to go to the hospital, where he meets John. This story is sadstuck.  Tags will change as the story progresses.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Uh...So this is my first swing at writing. This chapter is pretty short but I like where it ended. I was inspired to write this though due to some personal events.

You’re Dave Strider, 24, and you hate this place. It almost seems like the rest of your life was a dream. Like you’ve been in this sickly blank room your whole life, wearing these awful not ironic hospital attire. In reality, you’ve probably only been here for maybe a month, no time what so ever compared to other patients who arrive here. But that doesn’t make you any friendlier to anyone who tries to help; you just stare blankly through dark ironic shades, barely speaking to anyone at all. They had one young nurse come in today to timidly tell you that you would be getting a roommate today. You had just stared blankly, not letting her see your reaction and after a few moments she seemed to get it and almost jumped back into the hallway.

After she is gone you sigh and let your head lull back, lifting your hand up to attentively rub the bridge of your nose. Well Great. You were going to have to share your room with someone else and that probably meant their family members coming in and being noisy. After contemplating this you simply shrug to yourself and think about something else. Like how you ended up here.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You drowsily wake up in your dark Houston apartment. Sighing, you grope for your phone, not being able to tell the time through your blackout curtains. Its common knowledge a Strider does not get up early, and you are definitely not intent on breaking this sacred tradition. It illuminates a bright ’11:38 A.M.’ and you groan softly to yourself. Deciding since it is basically lunch time that it is no longer too early, you practically roll out of bed, slide your shades onto their proper place, and pad out to the washroom.

After refreshing and heading back to your room to throw clothes on, you drag yourself into the kitchen, intent on finding some sort of sustenance. You stretch lazily like a cat, yawning and look over at the table seeing a note stabbed with a throwing star. On closer examination it appears that it says ‘Roof. Now. We’re doing this. We’re making this happen.’ You silently eye your Bro’s note, half way expecting a smuppet attack to randomly launch itself from some unknown corner of the apartment. After another moment, you waltz back into the bedroom and grab a shitty sword and head towards the roof.

You cautiously exit the stairwell onto the hot, black roof. Your red t-shirt and jeans immediately starting to trap heat. The Texas heat is so thick it could literally be cut like butter and slathered onto some bread the sun toasted up for you as well. 

Without moving your head, you cautiously glance around the roof with, your crimson eyes flicking behind your shades. Feeling a sudden breeze, you whirl on your feet, lifting your sword up just in time to deflect Bro’s attack. 

The smallest of smirks creeps its way to the corner of your mouth. You and Bro are pretty evenly matched, now that you’ve gotten more experience.

The strife continues on for a while, as you both take turns having the upper hand. Both brothers performing acrobats with the grace of a ninja. 

You start to feel yourself becoming fatigued. Lately, you’ve been getting tired more quickly, which you don’t understand since you’ve never really taken a break from strifing since you were a kid. Puffing air out, you stamp the fatigue down, ignoring it, even as sweat starts to form.

“What’s wrong lil’ bro, getting tired already?” Bro asks from behind you. You whirl around, right in time to receive a blunt kick to the stomach. “Oomph” you gasp, sprawling out backwards. Pain blossoms through your whole midsection, trickling to every corner of your body. You start to freak out as your vision loses all ability to retain color. This shouldn’t be this painful. Fuck.

You breathe in deeply trying to calm yourself down. The edges of your vision go a bit blurry as you let yourself lay back down on the hot roof, trying to get a grip. Bro waltzes over to stand above you, looking down with his pointy shades, smirking a bit triumphantly. Then the smirk slips his lips. “Hey kiddo, you look paler than usual,” he says, as your vision blurs more.

You don’t respond as you slip into unconsciousness.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John comes in~ woo

You wake up groggily from unconscious slumbering, to be surrounded by too bright white walls. “What the fuck?” you mutter, your eyes squinting shut, as you start groping for your shades.

“Here,” you hear a familiar male voice say as your Aviators slide onto your face. Carefully opening your eyes, you see Bro hovering with a slightly sad look on his face, which looked odd on his usually emotionally blank face. “‘Sup? What’re we doing in this dump?” you ask calmly, playing it cool. You actually are curious to why you are in hospital gowns. You had been in your apartment, and then went for a strife. And then everything was blank after that.

Bro shifts his weight, the only thing letting on that he’s nervous, which makes you nervous and you start to fiddle with some stray strands that stick out of the hospital gown. After a second you stop because Striders don’t show their nervousness. “Bro-“ you start to say, but the door opens quickly and you snap your head in that direction.

“Well hello Mr. Strider, it’s nice to see you awake! Do you care if I call you David?” the doctor asks cheerily. “Just Dave,” you mutter, flicking your gaze over him. He’s sort of scrawny like you and his brown eyes are looking at some papers on the clipboard. “Well that makes it a bit easier then doesn’t it? I don’t have to say Mr. Strider twice!” he smiles, trying to get you and Bro to smile, but he just gets two impassive gazes instead.

“Well ok then,” he coughs. He looks at you, all business now. “Well. Dave, we have some bad news, but also some good news as well,” he says professionally. He looks a bit nervously at Bro but opts in not saying anything. Bro catches the glance and sidles over to your side, placing a protective hand on your shoulder. You jump a bit, not used to Bro being like this.

“Well it turns out Dave, that when and your brother, Mr. Strider, were wrestling he seems to have hit a tender spot in your stomach. Mr. Strider explained that you two wrestle quite a bit, so this reaction from you was unusual. We ran some test to see if there was some new cause,” the doctor rambles off professionally. He stops and gathers his breath for a second and then looks straight at you. “It turns out, Dave, that you have a form of stomach cancer. But!” he adds quickly while your eyes grow wide, “It’s a very curable cancer. The tumor is malignant but it’s not very far progressed. It hasn’t spread to other parts of your body yet. You will have to have some chemo because of the location of the tumor, but you should be out of here at most in a few months.” 

You stare at the doctor for a few moments in disbelief. “Is this some kind of sick joke Bro, because if it is, it’s not fucking funny,” you say, swinging your gaze to Bro. Bro shakes his head slightly. “I wish it was a joke little bro, but… it’s not.” 

“Well, if you two will follow me, we have a room set up for Dave for his stay with us.”

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

So you had gotten up, and the Bro had draped some kind of robe around you. All the tender shit was really getting at you, because come on, Bro was never tender with you.

Then you both had followed the doctor to a room with sickly light walls as well, but it had a window looking out onto a garden with some trees and walkways running through them. The room had no other occupants so you had it all to yourself. After a while, the doctor left, and you and Bro sat in a silence which was not uncommon to the two of you.

“Dave, I’m sorry…” Bro said, finally breaking the silence. You look over at him. “Pfft, what for? You didn’t inject cancer in me did you?” you ask sarcastically, keeping your face carefully expressionless. “I mean…no but…I don’t know Dave, fuck, I literally fucking kicked you in the cancer. And-“ you interject before he can continue with his apology. “Look, Bro. It’s fine. The doctor even said that it’s not even that serious. I guess I might lose a little bit of hair but hey anything looks good on a Strider, so everything will be good. Maybe you can use a break from me, get some hot chicks or something.” You start to look around nervously behind your shades. All the emotional talk was making you antsy since Bro and you never actually talked that much. 

Bro smirked a bit at that, running a hand through his blond hair under his cap. His ironic anime shades pointed at the ground, his orange irises seemingly staring at the tiles. “Ok kiddo, I guess I’ll get out of your hair. Don’t wreck their shit or anything though.” He gets up and heads towards you, encasing your sickly ass in a very brotherly hug. After stiffening up a bit, you relax and hug him back.

Since then, all you had done was get everything situated. Bro came and visited every now and then but besides that you would listen to your iPod and work on some long ago abandoned comics from your childhood.

When you had started the chemo, you thought all the shit they showed on TV was over exaggerated…until the night when you threw up half your body weight until you were shaking uncontrollably. You idly wondered when your hair would start falling out.

So that was how you got to this point, sitting in your room with your head lulled back. And now you would have to share the room with someone else and are not in the least bit thrilled about this fact.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You must have fallen asleep because the next thing you hear is rustling and people talking.

“Thanks!” you hear a bubbly voice say loudly. 

Great, the new roommate was apparently as loud as they fucking came.

You hear a pair of footsteps with the sound of rolling behind them. You then hear unzipping and contents being quietly shuffled around. You crack open your eyes behind your shades and gather in what your roommate looks like. 

He has raven black hair that’s splayed messily around his head and pure blue eyes. He also has his bottom lip tucked under his teeth, making the buckteeth stick out like a sore thumb. He has a blue hoodie on and he gets a look of glee on his face as he successfully finds whatever he was looking for. Which is a book. The other man goes and sits on his bed and sighs a bit, looking out the window.

You sit there for a minute, deciding what to do and finally decide to hell with it, he was going to be in here regardless, might as well know his name. “Yo,” you say quietly, but it reverberates through the room and the other male jumps.

“Oh! Hello, I didn’t know you were up! Did I wake you up? I’m sorry if I did,” he says in a torrent of words rushing out. You sit there for a second and finally say, “It’s cool. Sleeping is for losers anyway.” Somehow that was funny because the blue eyed male is now laughing. “Anyway,” you continue, “My name is Dave Strider. Since we are roommates and all might as well get the pleasantries out of the way.” 

“I’m John Egbert!” John says happily, a toothy grin emerging on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know you can't figure out what ailments you have that quickly, typically but...meh? Let's pretend he was out for a while.


	3. Chapter 3

Despite having already resigned yourself to give clear indifference to your unwelcome roommate, John’s smile is strangely dazzling. You feel as though you could get lost in the blue of his eyes, and a smirk is threatening to grace your lips but you quickly cut it off. All he sees is your emotionless face. 

“Nice to meet ya John,” you give a sharp nod of acknowledgement and then pick up your abandoned iPod, wondering what tunes you should listen to. You see him shift a bit in your peripheral, idly tracing his fingers on the spine of the book. He finally looks back up, smiling again, his nose crinkling up. “Well Dave, I hope we can be good friends while we stay here.”

You nod again, not turning your face towards him. You don’t want to be captured in those bright blue eyes again. You screw your eyes shut. ‘What is wrong with me?’

John coughs a little bit nervously. “So…uh…can I ask you kind of a personal question?” he ask, turning his eyes onto his book, like it is suddenly very interesting and wrapping his feet together nervously. 

You mull it over for a second and decide to indulge him. He wasn’t as annoying as you thought a roommate would be. “Shoot for it.”

“Well, obviously this is kind of the, uh…long time resident section of the hospital. I was just …curious as to what you are in here for?” he mutters, the end of the sentence harder to hear than the rest.

“Stomach cancer…” you think for a second, looking up at the ceiling, “It’s like gastric cancer I think that’s the more technical term…and if you want to get more technical it’s some bigass fancy word that begins with an a…aden…oma…Fuck I don’t care. It’s probably from never using the fridge growing up and eatin shitty food. I’ll be fine though, the tumor just doesn’t want to leave this fine Strider body,” you waggle your eyebrows a bit, which is lost in the coverage of your shades.

“That’s good,” he smiles brightly and then turns red, “I mean it’s good that you will be fine! I didn’t mean it is good you are here in the first place, I jus-“ “Chill dude,” you interrupt him. He’s emitting a red just a shade lighter than your eyes, and making his blue eyes stand out even more against his scrawny face.

“So whatcha in here for?” You ask, wincing inwardly as your drawl starts coming out more. John calms down a bit and then sighs and flings himself back onto his pillows, staring up at the ceiling. “Cancer as well, though mine is a bit more serious. It’s acute myelogenous leukemia. It affects my blood cells at a rapid rate. Sooo. I’m not sure how I will end up,” he adds lightly sort of wiggling his feet back and forth.

Your stomach plummets and guilt creeping up on you for the way you blew off your cancer earlier. “Dude. What the fuck. What is the…survival rate for that kind of thing?” you ask seriously, swiveling your head so you can stare at his stretched out figure. 

He shrugs “I mean, it dwindles with time and I didn’t discover mine until it was already sort of progressed so I guess it’s up in the air.”

You purse your lips and look back at your iPod, suddenly not very interested in jams.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You wake up violently and practically fall out of your bed in your scramble for the bathroom. You had your weekly chemo therapy earlier that day and even though you had tried not to eat much, something was still finding its way out of your stomach. You slam the door open, having completely forgotten you were sharing the room now and shove the lid up on the toilet, heaving violently.

“Dave…” you hear a groggy voice ask, effectively scaring you. You quickly forget that though as you start heaving some more. “Oh..Oh god, Dave are you alright?” John asks, waking up quickly and quickly coming to your side. He flutters his hands around uselessly before deciding to gather some of your hair up to make sure it doesn’t make it’s way into possible vomit. You feel your stomach flutter lightly as his hands brush against your neck but you figure that’s just because your stomach is basically turning itself inside out currently.

After a while, you finally do vomit what little contents of your stomach you have. You suck in a shaky breath, wiping at your mouth with the sleeve of your pajamas. “Thanks,” you say gruffly, pushing yourself up. John stands up besides you and looks into your eyes. You realize you don’t have your shades on and feel naked. You shift nervously.

‘He must think I am a freak’

John stares at you for a moment. “Your eyes are amazing, why do you hide them?” he asks seriously. You notice that he’s shorter than you, by a few inches, making it easier for him to look up into your downcast face. 

“Most people would not agree with you John,” you lightly say, looking down. He looks down as well, your attitude clearly making him nervous. “Let’s just go back to bed, sorry for waking you up.”

You both start walking towards your respective beds when you hear John’s footsteps stop suddenly. “Dave…” you hear something wrong in his voice and you spin around. “What is it?” you inquire nervously. John raises up his hands “Uh…” But you see what he’s noticed.

Some of your blonde hair is splayed across his pale, slender hands.


	4. Chapter 4

You just stare blankly at John’s splayed hands before raising your slightly shaking hand up to run through your hair lightly as dread sinks into your stomach. You see, as you bring it back down, a few light strands now clinging to your own hand. You clench your hand in a fist, bringing your gaze back up to the frozen John. He doesn’t look like he knows what to do.

You force a dry laugh. “Egbert it looks like you wrestled a white bunny. Why don’t you clean your hands off?” You question, brushing by him towards the bathroom to stop in front of the mirror. You gingerly wipe your hands off, then set them on the rim of the sink and look at your reflection.

John kind of jumps as he brushes his hands off and then swivels around and cautiously comes to the entrance of the bathroom. He looks puzzled but doesn’t say anything as you stare at yourself. You’re not sure if you like the company or not. 

Both you and John stay kind of frozen for a bit while you look at your hair. “I have to just…get rid of this. I can’t watch it just all fall out bit by bit,” you say, finally breaking the silence. The sound reverberates through the room. “Plus it wouldn’t go with my Strider swag to have bald spots,” you add trying to lighten the mood.

John looks down absently at his hands, nervously biting at his lower lip. “Well…I mean if you want to get rid of it, I can help you right now. I brought something so I could just get rid of all my hair as soon it started falling out,” he smiles timidly up at you. It looks almost apologetic, not really meeting his eyes which seem to emphasize sadness with the dark blue.

You look at your own red eyes in the mirror’s reflection. “Would…you mind if I use it?” you ask begrudgingly, not wanting to lose your hair, but as earlier stated not wanting to watch it fall out piece by piece.

“Sure, just one sec,” he responds, immediately turning and going to his side of the room. You can hear him rummaging through his suitcase and you absently run a hand through your hair again, a little more hair following the previous fallen strands. A person looking directly at you wouldn't be able to tell right now but you have a feeling it won’t stay that way for long.

John comes back into the bathroom, coming to a halt right beside you. “Here…” he says, offering the clippers to you. You raise your hand and take them, looking at the odd contraption. You’ve never seen one in person before since you always kept your hair sort of shaggy. You shake your head handing the clippers back to John. “Will…will you do it?” you ask hating the uncertainty that you can hear clearly. You’re not sure if John can hear it though. 

“Sure Dave, it’s no problem,” he smiles, and this time it touches his eyes slightly. He takes the clippers back from you and you close your eyes as you hear the clippers whir to life. You feel the blades touch your skin and slide across it in smooth strokes. His hand lightly glides behind the clippers, over the hairless areas, making your stomach flutter slightly, for some odd reason.

After a few minutes of this John turns the clippers off and you breathe in and let it out slowly, opening your eyes. Your platinum blond hair is now in a mess on the floor, on your clothes and your scalp is completely ridden of the long white blond strands.

You slowly raise your hand, running it over your head. “Feels weird,” you mutter to yourself but John smiles slightly, looking apologetic. “Why don’t we go to bed Dave?” he asks, lightly clasping your hand and you look at your joined hands. It strikes you as odd, but it feels good and you welcome the warmth spreading up your arm. 

He leads you back to bed and goes to his own bed. You lay there silently thinking. ‘John isn’t so bad’ you think to yourself. You could get used to his constant cheeriness overriding some of your ironic-ness. 

You shift your head around restlessly, getting used to the new feeling of being bald. After adjusting and finally getting comfy you drift off to sleep.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You rinse your mouth one last time before walking out of the bathroom to grab your crimson toboggan and sliding it onto your smooth head. After that you flop onto your bed and lean back, planning on wasting time until a nurse comes to get you for your checkup to see your progress. You let your eyes slide shut, the only sounds coming from the occasional passerby.

After dozing in and out you hear the door open. But the person doesn’t knock so you say “Hey man, after the checkup you want to go outside? I figure you won’t feel like it after you start up your chemo.” You assume it’s John since he is the only one who comes in like he owns the place, which he kind of owns half the place.

“You gonna buy me dinner first?” you hear a much deeper voice reply and your eyes snap open. “Bro?” you ask incredulously, “What are you doing here?” It wasn’t incredibly far from their home to this particular hospital but it was no daily visit either.

“Can’t I come see my kid brother without being fuckin up to something?” he asks huffily, shoving his gloved hands into his jean pockets, his dumb anime shades pointed in your direction. You role your red eyes, but the motion is lost behind your own shades.

“Well sup?” he finally asks, walking over and flopping into a chair near your bed. “Who’d you think you were talking to? What the fuck happened to your hair?”

You sigh, feeling a migraine coming on. Your brother and you never socialize this much, and you think he’s probably just feeling bad for not visiting you and the whole ordeal in general. “My roommate. John. He moved into this room about a week…and a half ago,” you say, tilting your head as you try to think of when he moved in. You two had really gotten along well this past week and you no longer begrudged having a roommate, you were actually happy to have one you didn’t feel shades of awkward to talk to.

“And as for the hair thing, chemo does that to you Bro. Just cut it all off as soon as it started coming out so I didn’t have ugly ass bald spots. That wouldn’t suit a Strider at all.” “Mmm,” he hums in response and you kind of just sit there not sure what to do. You finally indulge in this over social interaction. “So…Uh…sup with you? Still doing shit for that stupid website of yours?” you ask, sliding your hand under your toboggan to scratch at your scalp.

“Little dude, that website is not dumb and you know it. That shit pays our bills and provides me with some occasional amusement,” he says waggling his eyebrows above his pointed shades and you don’t even try to understand the background to that statement.

You rub your eyes and Bro speaks up again, “So you and this John kid up to something?” he smirks, tilting his head down so you can see his eyes and he waggles his eyebrows once again. “What?” you ask incredulously, “John is just a new friend, dude.” 

Bro tilts his head slightly, leaning back in his chair. “Oh yeah, that’s why you want to spend time with him before he gets to sick to move…hmmm sounds to me like you have a crush.” He smirks again and crosses his legs. “Is he cute at least?” 

You feel blood rising to your cheeks and you try to suppress it, hoping Bro can’t see. “Dude,” is all you say as you give him a pointed look. “It’s ok to have a crush, even if your crush has a penis. Penis isn’t bad at all,” his smirk almost turns predatory. “Yeaaaah…because you know all about penis,” you reply, knowing good and well Bro has brought home his fair share of guys. “Damn straight I know all about penis. And the added bonus of asses.” 

You shake your head, rubbing at your eyes yet again. Yep, there was definitely a migraine forming in your cranium.

You hear someone knock. ‘Oh thank god no more talk of penises’ you sigh out as relief washes over you “Come in,” you say loudly and Bro sort of just tilts his head to see who comes in.

As you predicted a nurse comes in. “Uhm...It’s time for your checkup,” the small girl says timidly. She looks at Bro, probably unsure of if she needs to make him leave. You personally don’t care. “You can stay Bro, this will take about an hour,” you say as you swing your legs off the bed and stand up. Walking up to meet the nurse, you fist bump Bro as you walk past. “If not see you man, thanks for the visit.” You say following the nurse out of the room and the door clicks quietly.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You slip back into your room with a sigh. Looking up you see John in his respective bed grinning toothily…and Bro in yours. “Bro what the fuck?” you ask, thinking he surely would’ve left. “Sup? How was your checkup or whatever,” he asks nonchalantly like this was normal. 

“The chemo is having an affect on the tumor, but not as fast as they had anticipated so I’ll be stuck here for longer than originally planned.”

“Well that sucks. Least you have a nice little roommate here. I’ve been getting to know him,” he nods towards John and John smiles toothily again. You feel something gnawing at your stomach, something like jealousy, but you blatantly ignore it. “You never told me about your brother Dave, he’s pretty cool,” John continues smiling, shaking his head a bit to get some loose raven hair out of his way.

Bro gets up and stretches. “Well I just thought I’d wait around until you got back. See ya later little dude.” He walks over and offers a fist. You slowly hold up your own fist to greet his. “Nice meeting you John,” Bro says, holding his hand up, not looking back as he walks to the door and slips out.

You let out a huff of air and then go sit on the edge of your bed. John looks at you, his smile still touching his eyes. “So what’s up Dave, your brother said you thought he was me earlier today?” he asks, inspecting his hands. “Yeah,” you mutter,” I was going to see if you wanted to go for a walk or something.” John leans forward, trying to better catch what you said as his buckteeth emerge to play nervously at his bottom lip. “Well.. we could go on a walk if you would like?” John asks smiling up at you, his blue eyes seeming to shine.

“No that’s ok…Just forget it,” you say, upset for no reason, totally not jealous that your brother can make John smile like that. You slip on your earphones and lay back on your bed, closing your eyes.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You hear a familiar retching sound that for once, isn’t emerging from you. Your eyes flutter open as you slide off the bed and head towards the bathroom. You push the door open to find John with his face resting on the seat of the toilet his arms limp at his side. He has sweat shining on his face and he looks absolutely pitiful. 

You walk of, kneeling beside him. He slides his dark blue eyes towards yours, his hazed over with pain. “Dave, this sucks…this really sucks I feel like I’m dying. Well quicker than I was at any rate,” he chuckles, trying to be funny. He quickly turns his face back towards the toilet though as he heaves some more. You grab up some of his raven locks. “First time is always the worst,” you tell him matter-of-factly. It was for you at any rate.

You slowly rub his back and pap his head as he lays his head down feebly again. You now felt bad for not going on a walk yesterday but you had let your own emotions get the better of you when there was no need of them. There was no need to be jealous of Bro and John getting along. Even though just thinking about it still made the ugly emotions coil around your insides. But John had had his first chemo therapy of the day and you had figured he’d feel like this. What a great roommate you were.

After a countless amount of time sitting there John stops shaking as much and you look at him. “Feeling any better?” you ask, continuing to rub his back. The constant motion had made your hand numb. John smiles weakly at you “Yeah, a little.” 

He shakily tries to get up and you bounce up on your feet first, flexing your hand slightly to get feeling and grabbing his hand into yours and pulling him gently to his feet. He wobbles slightly and you wrap an arm around him to steady him. He just stands there, not attempting to move. You shift your head and look down at him. “You ok there?” you ask. “Yeah, it’s just nice to have someone to hug,” he mutters, sinking into your frame, wrapping his arms around your torso. You catch his weight, even though you were off guard. He’s really light already and your worried what the chemo will do to him.

After a few minutes you decide he needs to sleep. “Ok champ, time to haul your ass to bed,” you say, ducking down and sweeping him off his feet. He squeeks, surprised by the sudden movement. “W-what are you doing Dave?!” he asks, now clinging to your neck. “Gonna tuck you in, is what I’m doing.”

You walk over to his bed and deposit him gently in the bed. You then reach over and tug the covers up on him and even plant a chaste light kiss on his forehead. “You got the whole deal Egbert, you should feel special,” you smirk at him, going back to your own bed and hauling yourself up. 

“Haha, yeah thanks Dave. Haven’t had anyone do that for me since my Dad did it for me a long time ago,” he smiles sadly. 

“Well..maybe he can when he comes and visits you?” You ask, not sure how far away John’s Dad lived. They both hadn’t really brought up family in their various discussions. Just likes. Like how Dave loved photography, and ironic things and how John had a weird infatuation for Nic Cage. 

“I wish. He can’t though, since he passed away a few years back,” he glumly states. ‘Well now I’m a jackass’

“Oh…I’m sorry…what…Happened?” your not sure if this is a good topic to talk about. But John just shrugs, “He got into a car crash when it was slick out. I used to live in Washington till that happened, then I just couldn’t live there anymore so I kind of just packed up and moved to an entirely new place.”

“Well I’m sorry. You know I'm here for you right?” you ask meeting his eyes. You’ve never felt that way for anyone but Bro before, but you mean it. You really like John and you’re finally starting to admit that to yourself. “Yeah Dave, thanks” he smiles sleepily, and yawns. 

“I think it’s time for bed,” you say and he just nods. “Goodnight Dave,” “G’night John,” you reply, leaning back into your pillows. You let your eyes slide shut and you drift off.


	5. Chapter 5

You scratch your head absently as you ponder what to do. Between the therapy sessions and the checkups, there really isn’t much to do. John is getting his first checkup currently so you can’t even do anything with him right now. 

Sighing discontentedly, you pull out your laptop. What better way to pass the time than to make some new sick beats? You plug in your earphones as the laptop whirs to life.

You miss you're actual turntables, but of course you weren’t able to bring those with you. So Bro had a snazzy program installed on your laptop that acted as a type of pseudo turntable. It wasn’t the same as spinning a disc but you would have to deal with it for now. Plus you had learned that John’s birthday was coming up soon, and finding out he was pretty alone in the world, you were going to try to make it special in your own small special way. Of course this wouldn’t be the only thing you’d do but you think he’d like if you made him something with him in mind.

After messing with some basic beats, you finally feel the rhythm sliding its way through your body, twisting its way to your hands and you set to work almost robotically.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You jump as you feel a tap on your shoulder, throwing your head around fast enough to askew your sunglasses. John’s lips pull up into a full-blown toothy grin as he can see one shocked bright crimson eye. “The fuck man?” you reach up and fix your glasses, shrugging a bit. You don’t like being startled, especially if you are absorbed in something.

“Sorry, but your reaction was priceless. I didn’t even do anything and I think my prankster gambit just went up some,” he laughs at you, eyes squinting shut cutely.

‘Cutely?’

Staring at him for a few brief moments, you turn your attention back to your screen and quickly save it. After making sure it’s saved you shut your laptop down and kick your feet over the edge of your bed. “So Egbert, you want to go for a walk. You feelin’ up to that?” You ask and he looks around you giving a questioning look and taking in your attire. Before he says anything you add “Dude, it’s like warm all the time. Year round here except maybe parts of December and January if we are lucky.”

He snorts a bit in response but laughs, “I suppose so,” he smiles. 

You slide off the bed and slip your shoes on as he follows you. You open the door for him. “After you madam,” you say, slightly bowing and gesturing with your hand. He laughs again, “Oh, quite the gentleman we have here! How are you still a bachelor?” He asks, showing pearly white teeth and slipping out the door. “I guess the right person never came along,” You reply wispily, following.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x- 

You silently thank anyone listening that neither of you are hooked up to anything. Yet. You’re pretty sure you’ll be clear most of the way but you’re not sure about John, which worries you. You’re just trying to enjoy the moment though since everything is fine right now. You both are walking along a trail they have in a field by the hospital while dusk sets in, sending splashes of golden sunlight through shrubbery. Everything is coming to life as spring starts to take root in full force, and as if to emphasize this, a gentle breeze blows through making everything shift and rustle gently.

“Aaah this is great! It’s just perfect out here, why don’t we come outside more Dave?” John says, breaking the comfortable silence that had fallen between you two. You shrug, “Man, I don’t know. If you are feeling up to it more I suppose we could again soon.” You were just always worried this would take too much strength out of him. You sit down on one of the benches provided, shaded nicely by a tree. You pat your lap and give your best seductive smirk, the picture made perfect by the sun glinting off your glasses. John just laughs and opts to sit beside you, his hands shoved in his jacket pockets. You rest your own arms on the back of the bench, one hovering behind John.

“So you going to get strippers or something for your birthday, is that something that I need to be prepared for?” You ask him, your tone all serious. You crack a smile as he bust out laughing though. “Nah, no strippers. Just going to be a normal day I suppose.” “You don’t want anything?” You ask, not really sure how to go about anything. You aren’t even quite sure what you want to do for John’s birthday. The only person you had worried about birthdays for before was Bro, who was relatively easy to shop for. Or at least you thought so, but that could be because you were raised by him.

“Hmmm, I can’t think of anything right now. I remember when I was younger though, I used to get so excited. My dad would usually get me one really good gift and make me about five cakes,” John sort of blanched at the last part. By now, you were very well acquainted with his distaste of certain sweets, particularly those manufactured by one Betty Crocker.

The story of him telling you about his mental breakdown when he found out gushers were made by the Betty Crocker corp flitted across your memory, making you chuckle quietly.

“What kind of stuff did you get for your birthdays?” You ask, turning your head to look at him. He had pulled his hands out of his pockets and now was reaching up to pluck a vibrantly green leaf down. He fiddled with it idly, his eyes not focused on it. 

“Well…let’s see. I mean, pretty basic stuff you know? When I was little, stuff like scooters and bikes. Like when those scooters with the really tiny wheels were the thing to have,” he chuckles, “Then you know…as I got older game consoles and all that. We weren’t rich or anything, but I was an only child.” John smiles kind of sadly and you feel your stomach twist but he continues. “Once, I wanted a pet lizard but my dad thought I’d be better with a rabbit. Of course I still loved that too because I love bunnies, I named her Liv,” His buckteeth emerged yet again as he smiled, lightly biting at his lower lip. The soft breeze ruffled his mess of raven locks and you couldn’t stop taking him in. John is just so amazing.

“OH! I know!” he exclaimed, making you jump slightly. “What’s that?” You say, not sounding interested. That doesn’t phase him one bit though. “We can have a Nic Cage marathon. You grimace inwardly. “Sure dude, whatever you want,” you smile lightly at him. Even though you are not starstruck by Nic Cage this is for John. 

You may only get one birthday with him.

Sliding your hand over you grip his in yours. He looks down in a slightly shocked expression. “Wha-?” “Don’t ruin it John, we are getting our sick romantic feels on,” you squeeze his hand for emphasis. He stares at your hands for a moment and then smiles softly and leans into you and you trade hands so that you can wrap one around him and pull him into a side hug. 

You two stay like that for a good while until the golden splashes turn dim and the sky has gone through pinks and is now a deep purple, setting into night.

“Let’s go in Egbert, we don’t want the mosquitoes getting our delicious blood,” you say, standing up and pulling him with you. He smiles and you step away a bit, just simply taking his hand into yours and you both walk back towards the hospital.


	6. Chapter 6

“Man, your punkass better be grateful as shit for this. Not that I don’t have the muscles to do this but still-“ “Shut up.” You say interrupting Bro. He never misses a chance to give you hell, even though he knows why you are going to all this trouble.

“Shit Dave, can I not speak now, man that’s harsh,” Bro continues, not phased at all. Normal Strider bonding time. You sort of miss this. You think.

You take a swig of some apple juice that he brought you. 

Hell yeah.

Apple juice. 

You don’t even bother portioning it out, simply drinking from the jug.

“Get your sick ass over here and help lift this up. I got it all the way up here without John even seeing and now all you’re doing is sittin',” he says, his pointed shades shifting to point in your direction. “Aww man, fine,” you say, standing up and stretching languidly. You move over slowly and get on the other side of the heavy object. The heavy object in question was a large flat screen television.

You were going to try to make this one of John’s best birthdays and if he was serious about his Nic Cage marathon, then the puny hospital televisions just would not do for your good buddy and you. So you had gotten Bro to hook you up with a television from one of his electronic stores. And of course, Bro was able to snag it for free.

“Ok, 1-2-3, go!” He grunts as you both lift up on the flat screen. You both lifted it up until it was hooked onto the stand that Bro had installed earlier. After shifting a bit and making sure it was secure, both you and Bro step back looking at the giant screen. He puts his hand under his chin like it’s a masterpiece, slightly tilting his head. “Did you bring the other stuff?” You ask eyeing the bags he brought in.

He sighs tiredly, lifting a hand up to the bridge of his nose and massaging. The action lifts the glasses up slightly giving you a view of tired orange eyes, “Yes Dave, I brought the other goods. Don’t worry; the little dork will get the best birthday surprise of his life. Egbert won’t even know what hit him.”

You smirk slightly when Bro shifts his focus back on the TV. People outside the Strider household may not be able to tell, but your brother was the best, no question about it. 

You go over to the other bags, and very gently put them in your closet. You hear light scuffling from one bag. You smile, running your hand over the particular package making sure there were some holes in the wrapping.

After that, you click the tiny closet shut. You walk over next to your bed and pull up the bag of movies your Bro got for you. Was Nic Cage really in this many movies? You sighed, sifting through them absently when you see an odd name. “Uh…” Is all you can manage as you glance over the DVD cover. “I think this is yours Bro.”

Bro looks over at what you are holding, “Well that must have gotten mixed in, sorry. Sure you don’t want to keep it though? Nothing beats the original Black Stallion.” He smirks as you just shake your head. He plucks it out of your fingers and puts it on the table by his keys.

As time slips by, everything seems prepared for John’s birthday. He’s out getting a checkup currently, but you aren’t sure how much longer that will last.

“Well I guess I’m going to go ahead and go on my way kiddo, tell the egg man that I said Happy Birthday,” he yawns as he grabs up his movie and keys but then halts. “Oh yeah! I forgot something,” he states as he walks over to the counter in the room. He had brought the bag in with the rest of the stuff but placed it separately. You hadn’t questioned him about it. 

“I got this for you just in case you needed it,” he winks, handing it to you and then going back to heading out. “Have fun!” he waves a hand over his head as he departs the room. 

You tilt your head slightly, staring after him and then glance into the bag. You stare for a moment disbelievingly. “Uuh….” Your face brightens up to match the bright hue of your vibrant eyes. “W-why?” you ask the air as you hear the door open.

“Hey Dave! Why are you so red?” John asks curiously, not noticing the huge hanging TV yet. “Nothing!” you exclaim wadding the bag shut and moving to shove it in a drawer. No way was John going to see the contents of that bag, especially not right now. 

It was full of condoms and lubricants.

You weren’t sure if Bro was trying to be caring or a dick.

John heads immediately to the bathroom, the door closing with a click behind him. You slightly smile at how oblivious he can be.

You turn the TV on and set the bag of movies on John’s bed for him to find.

Several minutes later you hear the door open again. “So did you get me any strippers today?” John smiles as he comes out of the bathroom. “No, but I think I did better,” you comment, just as he looks up and stops in his tracks. “What’s this huge TV doing in here Dave?” He asks, his eyes widening by the second. “Look on your bed.” Is all you say. 

He complies, walking over to his bed finding the bag full of Nic Cage movies and squeaks. You snort trying to cover up a laugh and he turns. “Seriously Dave? Are you going to watch these with me?” He asks staring at you, holding around four movies in each hand. “Yeah man, it’s your birthday and all, not mine,” you shrug. Then John practically tackles you, wrapping his arms around you. “You're the best Dave,” he exclaims, nuzzling into your chest. You awkwardly wrap your arms around him, feeling your face warm up. “I know,” You say into his hair, trying to sound smug.

He untangles himself from you and goes back to excitedly sifting through movies. His grin looks as if it’s going to split his face with how wide it’s growing. “Oh this one Dave, we are watching this one first,” he says, bouncing up and down, full of energy. “Alright,” you nod. You get up, grab the movie and stick it in the DVD player. John smiles and climbs up onto his bed. 

You smile and go to turn the lights off. As you come back you shove your bed beside his. He stares at you, biting at his lower lip nervously now. You shift your eyes to the side as a response, his nervousness rubbing off on you. Though the action is lost due to your shades.

You climb up on the bed and put your arm up above him on his pillow. He leans forward and you slide it behind him. He smiles timidly and leans into you, his head fitting into the crook of your neck. His raven hair brushes against you, raising goose bumps at its soft touch.

Every now and then John quotes the movie and comments on it, but you don’t really pay attention. You just enjoy the feeling of him against you.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

A few movies later, John is cuddled up to you closely. “What do you want to watch next?” he asks you, raising his blue eyes up to look at you. “I don’t care Egbert, as previously stated, it’s your birthday.” He smiles and picks out another movie for you to go insert. He carefully withdraws your arms and swings your legs off the bed. 

“Before that though,” you say as you go turn the lights on and head for the closet. You pull out the other bags. “I really should have done this first I guess,” you idly state, placing the bags on your bed and then crawling up yourself. 

John sits up, crossing his legs and leans forward “You did more?” he asks, eyeing the bags. “Nah, these bags are all for me. Of course I did more; I’m a birthday celebrating machine, I run on pure birthday magic, it’s insane.”

You carefully take out the contents of the first bag. A smaller cheesecake. “See, I know you hate baked shit and all, but I just thought cheesecake was far enough from the mark that you’d like it.” He smiles toothily, “Yeah it’s great. Thanks Dave. Do you want to share it with me?” he asks and you smirk “Sure man, but let me finish this.”

“And this,” you carefully pull out the package with holes in it, “I hope you will appreciate. Don’t shake it or anything, that’d be bad.”

John carefully opens it, gasping. “W...what…” he stutters then goes silent. “Well you had said you wanted a pet lizard and I don’t know this one just seemed to call out that you’d like her.” You look off to the side sheepishly, scratching the back of your head. John grins, “She’s perfect. I will name her Casey.” He states, opening up the tiny cage she was in and picking Casey up. He is seemingly admiring her yellow skin, speckled with black. “Casey? Like after that girl in that first movie we watched?” You ask, laughing slightly.

“Yes, and it’s a beautiful name and nothing to be laughed at,” he sniffs at you, cutting his eyes at you for a split second before looking back at Casey. “Well I also got her a bigger cage.” You retrieve it from the closet and bring it to John’s side, plugging a heating lamp in, then put food and water in. He admires Casey for a bit longer and then gently places her in her cage where she heads straight to her water. 

“Last thing,” you grab the last bag and pull out a disc. “I...uh…Made this for you,” you mutter, handing it over to him. He takes the disc with all the beats you made while thinking of him. “Really? I can’t wait to listen to it,” he smiles sweetly, running his fingers over the plastic covering it and then puts it on his desk. You smirk back at him and then get up, turning off the lights again and starting up the next movie. You grab some plastic forks on the way back so you both can eat.

About halfway through the movie he yawns, stretching a little bit. You shift to accommodate his movements. “I guess I’m finally getting tired,” he laughs lightly, shifting his glasses as he rubbed his eyes. You sit up, taking in his disheveled hair and smile to yourself. He’s so cute like this. But he’s cute all the time anyway.

He opens his tired blue eyes, focusing on you. There’s only a little space between the both of you. “I think I may have one more present for you Egbert,” you mutter. “What’s tha-“he starts to ask before you cut him off, placing your lips firmly against his in a chaste kiss. After a moment you pull away and John sort of stares at you. You aren’t sure if that was too much, but you wanted to try at least. 

“Kiss me again,” he breathes out, the air brushing gently against your lips. You happily comply, kissing deeper and sliding a hand up John’s back until you could slip it through his raven hair. Warmth spreads through you at the contact.

He moves forward, practically crawling into your lap as he gently cups your neck while the other grabs onto your shirt lower.

You pant through your nose as you lick at his bottom lip and nip at it playfully. It is great to be with John like this. This feels so right.

He grins, leaning forward too fast, bumping teeth together. You both wince. “Sorry,” he mutters airily. You lick your teeth a bit, “it’s a’ight,” you reply, moving your lips back to his, not wanting to ever part from his lips, not matter if there was a bit of pain.

John moves forward slower this time and you nip his bottom lip again and he opens his mouth in response. You invade his mouth with your tongue, searching his mouth with caressing strokes. You lean back, against your pillows as John follows. He straddles your waist as you both continue to make-out.

The weight from John on top of you is slowly maddening you. You run a hand down his side and then slowly back inside his shirt, gripping at his warm skin. 

John sloppily searches your own mouth and you revel in the feeling of part of him inside you. Sure, you’ve been with other people before, even guys. But this was different, blissful even. You make a small noise in the back of your throat expressing your contentment and he smiles against you, but never breaks the kiss.

 

You aren’t sure how much time has passed when you break apart. You and John both are panting and staring at each other. Somewhere in the mix he had gotten your shades off without you noticing. 

He smiles down at you and then rolls off of you, immediately curling up to your side after. “I think this is the best birthday I’ve had in a long time,” he sighs contentedly. You smile as you rub at his head gently. “I’m glad,” you mutter into his hair, breathing his scent in. You kiss his head lightly, still methodically moving your hand. 

“Thanks Dave,” John mutters sleepily a few minutes later, his eyes closed. “No problem,” you say back. 

You lay there contentedly as you watch John doze off. You would never grow tired of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My first kissing scene I've ever written. I hope it is alright v_v


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW...

You run a shaky hand along the smooth skin of your scalp. No matter how many times you had it, chemo still sucked. You lay your head on the seat of the toilet, looking at John. He smiles tightly at you, his slimy ghost symbol covered by your beanie and shades that are held tightly to his chest, having gotten them off you quickly. “Are you done?” he quietly asks, looking over you anxiously. You consider the rolling currents of sharp acidic pain that are slightly subsiding now. “Just about…I think,” you say, smiling tightly back at him, not wanting to worry him more than possible.

After another few minutes, you sit up slowly. A slight sheen of sweat shows dimly across your pale skin in the low light of the bathroom. John leans forward, his blue eyes connecting with your red ones for a split second before he leans in close enough to lay a sweet, gentle kiss on your forehead. Closing your eyes, you lean into the action, wrapping your arms around his torso and dragging him closer to you. He chuckles softly, swinging his legs, clad in black sweatpants, in your lap and continues to shower those tender kisses on you. You hum in contentment.

Whoever said, ‘want a kiss to make it better?’ knew what they were talking about.

You sit there with him in your lap for another short moment before you relinquish your hold on his torso to grip for the counter top. He slides off your lap and jumps up, offering his own hand to help it up. You grip it and use his hand and the counter to pull yourself up. 

You grimace a little, not only from the slight queasiness you have left over from your body having it’s expulsion session, but also for being this weak in front of John. He’s been having the same problems too, and of course you are there for him. But you know he’s going to have it worse in the long run. 

After straightening up fully he stands there awkwardly, biting at his lower lip. His big blue eyes focused on you. “Are…do you need me to stay here?” he asks quietly. You smile tightly at him and raise your hand, gently brushing a lock of black hair back from his face. “I’ll be fine,” you assure him. He smiles, the corners of his eyes crinkling up slightly and he slips out of the bathroom. 

You turn and bow your head, staring at the sink. You look up at your reflection, taking in your pale skin that is still shiny from sweat, your plain black tee making your clammy skin seem even more apparent. You grab your toothbrush and thoroughly brush your teeth and swish mouthwash. After your mouth has lost all of the acidic taste, you exit the bathroom and flick the light off. John is sitting in his bed, propped up against the wall. His shaggy hair is splayed wildly around his face, the television illuminates his features. You smirk at him and head towards his bed.

“What are you doing?” he smiles shyly. You climb up onto his bed. He giggles softly, bringing his knees up to him tightly as you plant yourself in front of him. It’s only been a few days since his birthday, since the make-out session happened. Small kisses have ensued since. You know it’s all happening a little fast, but you don’t want to miss one moment with him. You’ve missed being together both of your healthy lives, so you’re not going to waste anytime in sickness.

You lean forward up over his knees, your face close enough that you can feel John’s breath gently tickling your skin. Warmth spreads through your cheeks, but the darkness is thick enough that it’s nearly impossible to see, especially with the television behind you. It reflects against John’s glasses but you can still see his eyes, lust shining in them. 

He leans in the few last centimeters between you to push his lips against yours, closing his eyes in the process. You sigh against his lips, smirking slightly as you snake your arms around his back. You lace one hand through his hair, knowing that soon, his hair will be gone as well. 

John pushes against you and you give a rare startled grunt as you fall onto your back. He crawls on top of you, straddling your waist as he gives a seductive little smirk. “You seem eager today,” you say huskily. John grins, showing his buck teeth and just leans forward, connecting your lips again. 

As he deepens the kiss, glasses clink and John makes a frustrated noise, and grabs at your glasses. He rips them off but as he lifts his upper body off you of you, he leans back and carefully sets them on the night stand. “You aren’t taking yours off,” you smirk at him. He gives you a pointed look. “Really Dave, really? I would like to be able to see what’s going on when I do open my eyes.” 

You smile and reach a hand up, taking his face in your palm and running your thumb gently over his face. As your thumb comes close to his mouth he nips at it playfully and you hiss lowly, shifting your hand behind his head and dragging him down to you. “Why are you so amazing?” you ask quietly, your breath brushing against his lips and John flicks his tongue out, licking his beautiful lips. 

He runs his thin hand across your smooth scalp, making you shiver and you close your eyes. It feels so good to have his hand sending warmth through your skin.

“Dave…” John looks at you nervously, and you raise an eyebrow questioningly. “I know this… is kind of random, not to mention sudden but…” you keep your eyebrows raised, silently urging him to continue. He shifts his eyes to the side and his already slight blush deepens significantly. “I…I just wanted to let you know, I’m pretty sure I love you…” he lowers to a mutter at the end but you caught the words anyway. 

You let out a breath you hadn’t really realized you had been holding and smile gently, lifting a hand to brush some of his thick raven hair out of his eyes. “Is that so?” you ask, this probably being one of the longest smiles you’ve ever held. He nods a bit and doesn’t make eye contact. You brush your thumb along his face again, wanting to draw those mesmerizing eyes back to yours. 

“Hey,” you finally say and he reluctantly looks into your eyes. “I know how you feel John, like it is a little sudden…but I love you too. And me admitting that is not a typical Strider thing, so feel honored, and don’t you dare mention that to Bro,” you say and he smiles brightly, his eyes almost closing shut entirely with the motion. 

You lean up the short distance and meet his lips once again. John quickly leans down so you don’t strain your neck and nibbles at your lips with his buckteeth. You gasp a bit and he takes the opportunity to slide his tongue a bit sloppily between your lips. He swipes his tongue along your teeth before sliding it against your own. 

You’re not used to John being so forward but you don’t mind, you actually like it.

You really like it. 

You raise a hand up to his back and gently run your nails down, careful not to be rough. You would never want to hurt John.

He moans very lowly in the back of his throat. Too low to hear, but you can feel it when he’s this close. You push your own tongue past his lips, moving it with expertise. You trail your hand down to John’s hip and grip it, massaging above his hip bone lightly as he presses his body flush against yours. Both of your legs are tangled messily under the pillow and your toes are brushing the wall behind it.

John trails his hands down your own sides, tickling them slightly and you squirm a bit in response. He smiles against you slightly. You break the kiss and as he starts to say something, you shift a bit and gain access to his neck. You start to nibble on it and he quickly trails off of what he was saying. You nibble a bit harder lower on his neck and then lick up the trail you just bit. He shivers slightly against you and you blow air along his neck and he shivers more; you can see goose bumps rise on his skin. 

You move to the other side of his neck and proceed to do the same while moving your hand on his hip to cup his butt gently. He makes a slight noise but besides that it’s just low sounds of contentment. You can feel his member growing against your abdomen. You’re not sure if he can feel your own but you could care less about that right now.

You move your hand around between the two of you and brush against him on the outside of his sweatpants. He gasps and opens his eyes, which have dilated, to look at you. You stare back at him, seeing if he will tell you to stop, but he doesn’t, so you brush against him again, slightly groping him through the cloth. He makes more noise and you feel yourself twitch with arousal. 

Claiming his lips again, you slowly slide your fingers into the waistband of his sweatpants and move your hand down to rub his thigh. He purrs lowly and his attention seems to focus on that since his tongue has stopped moving as much. You smile, laughing on the inside but not daring to laugh outright. You don’t want to make him feel embarrassed. 

Running your fingers up, you brush the tips against his hard cock and he moans deeply. You push your mouth more firmly against him, the moans sending sensations through your tongue. 

You finally encircle his member with your hand, and you can already feel a few droplets of pre-cum at the tip. You run your thumb gently along it, smearing the liquid and starting a smooth stroke. “Dave…” John groans out loud, breaking the kiss off entirely. You smile as you continue the motion.

You bite at his neck again before trailing up, your hot breath making him shiver. You make your way to his ear, licking at it tenderly. “Lean up,” you whisper and pull back; John gives you a questioning look as he does what you requested. You lean up against him and adjust his pillows and then push gently against him until he’s leaning against the pillows. He still has the questioning look in his eyes before you slowly slide down and drag the waistband of his pants and boxers down. His eyes grow wide and you smirk up at him before leaning down and taking in his cock.

John doesn’t taste bad, a little salty but not overbearing. You can taste a hint of sweet, which you did not expect. In truth, he actually tastes really good and you lick appreciatively at the sensitive tip. You hear him keen lowly and you cover your teeth with your lips and take him in slowly, licking the underside as you go. You feel him starting to push up and you slide both of your hands to his hips, applying pressure so he can’t buck into you. He groans, sounding almost frustrated but it turns into a moan as you suck, lifting your head slowly.

Your mouth gives off a lewd popping sound as you drag your mouth from John’s dick. You look up at him; you love the sight of him. His blue eyes are heavy, nothing but lust and he’s panting harshly, sweat starting to shine on his pale skin. You dip your head back down and lick up his thigh slowly. You trail your way back to his member, taking it in again and you can hear him panting heavily, giving off those quiet noises you love.

You take one hand from his hip and move it under you to cup his balls, gently massaging them. John groans loudly this time, moving a hand up to his mouth to muffle the lewd noises. You growl deeply in your throat, wanting to hear him. John moans as he feels the vibrations you produce.

Finally, you release his hip completely, giving him the option to buck if he wants. After a moment, he seems to realize he has the freedom and sort of twitches slowly at first. You open your throat up so that he can without triggering your gag reflex, and pant through your nose. You continue to massage his balls gently as your other hand drifts up his torso, sliding under his shirt.

After a few minutes, you feel John tense up. “Dave…” he pants, moaning as he does so. Your cock twitches, aching slightly from neglect but you ignore that, that isn’t important right now. “Dave, I’m going to come,” he finally gets out. You suck harder, encouraging him and after a few more thrust from John’s part, he finally comes, hot liquid rushing down your throat. You let him ride his release out and lap it up, letting his limp member plop out of your mouth.

Slowly, you crawl up on top of John, kissing his forehead. “Dave..that…you’re amazing,” he blushes, looking up at you. “Well of course I am,” you reply, “I’m a Strider after all.”

He shakes his head, giggling, that goofy grin plastered on his face. You lean down, nuzzling slightly into his neck; John sounds almost as if he’s purring. When you lean down a little further, John kind of stiffens up. Puzzled, you raise your head to make eye contact with him. “Dave…I’m sorry I forgot about…you know,” he says, gesturing towards you with his hands. Dave cocks an eyebrow and smirks slightly. “It’s cool John, you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” You brush his hair back a bit and he bites at his lower lip.

“But…I want to make you feel good too,” he states, sounding almost whiny. “I’m just worried that…” he kind of looks down towards your chest, “I’m worried that I won’t be very good,” he mutters.

You make a low cut off noise in your throat. Anything John did would be good.

Just the fact that it was him would make it perfect.

John continues to bite at his lower lip, more so with his growing nervousness. He leans up, licking your lips. You meet him, licking your own lips slightly. You can still taste John a little bit and distantly hope he won’t mind. The majority of your mind is just focused on more contact with John.

John backs off a little to look at you, his head making an indent in his soft pillow. He licks his lips a bit, “I’m not sure how far I’m willing to go,” he states honestly. You shrug, “anything is fine Egbert, and if you aren’t feeling comfortable with anything then I’m not going to force you, I’m just glad you felt good.”

He swivels his head back and forth, “No, no, no! That isn’t what I meant, I’m just saying…You know some people want to go all the way really fast but I’m just…I’ve never really been with a guy before.”

You smile and brush a few stray locks back. John had the wildest hair. “Dude, calm the fuck down, seriously, what is this I hear from care-free guy, worrying? This shit is insane.” John smacks you lightly on the shoulder with a snort, and then leans up kissing you hard.

That action shuts you up effectively and you close your eyes, enjoying the kiss. You wrap an arm behind his head, lightly grabbing at his neck while the other travels to the side of his face.

John grips at your bald head; you can slightly feel his blunt nails. His other hand trails painstakingly slow down your torso. His fingers ghost over your hard bulge and you whine quietly in the back of your throat. 

He seems to gain confidence from this and takes his hand back slightly to slip it into the waistbands of both your pants and your boxers, pushing them down, your whole ass now exposed and slightly in the air. 

You break free for a second, panting hard. “But what of poor Casey, she will be scarred for life,” you breathe to John, and you both look over at Casey who does look like she is staring at you. John turns his face back towards you, “I don’t think she’ll remember,” he whispers and goes back to kissing you. You chuckle slightly into him. 

John reaches down, taking your shaft in his grip and you freeze up for a second. After a second, you kiss John back more ferociously.

Pumping you in uneven strokes, he parrots your motions from earlier. He takes his thumb, spreading precum at the sensitive tip and you moan into John’s mouth, panting heavily through your nose.

After a few minutes, your hips twitch slightly. Bucking isn’t cool, but you feel like saying fuck you to the cool facade right now.

So you buck into his hand.

John leaves your lips to bite a bit roughly at your lower neck. The action sends a hot jolt through you, making you keen lowly into the pillow beside John’s head.

Shortly after, you feel yourself tense up. “John, either you’re going to have cum on you, or I don’t know, we need to do this where I won’t get it all over you.”

He leans forward slightly, “Just release on me,” he whispers in your ear, and shit if that isn’t the most seductive thing you ever heard. You feel yourself release and you fuck John’s hand until you’ve ridden out your release.

You shakily (no fuck that, you aren’t shaking) look down at John. His clothes are splattered with your ejaculation and you take the sight in hazily. It’s strangely erotic. John’s yours, and only you can do this to him.

“Let’s get you some clean clothes,” you say and roll over to the side, planting your feet on the cold hospital floor. You shiver slightly and you straighten your own clothes up and find John some of his pajamas. “Thanks, you’re so romantic Dave,” he smiles lopsidedly at you and gets up to replace his soiled clothes with the ones you’ve offered him.

After he’s changed, you both crawl into bed. “Goodnight Dave,” he sighs happily, nuzzling into you.

“Night Egbert,” you smile, letting your eyes slide shut.

 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 

“How’d chemo go,” you ask as you see John walk in after being gone for a while. You put down your original gameboy, simply pausing the game. 

Gameboys were ironic as shit. 

You rest your hands on your crossed legs, watching him as he walked over to his side of the room, shuffling through his things.

“Chemo is chemo I guess,” he says bubbly. You don’t understand how he can be like that even after treatment, but that’s your John for you. 

“Well, I’m not sure when it’s going to start kicking you in the ass, but want to go for a walk?” you ask, glancing out the window. It’s going to get hot soon, too hot to go out, but right now it’s still a decent temperature. And John is still in decent shape.

“Yeah!” he exclaims excitedly, practically jumping. He grabs a light long-sleeved blue shirt on. It has a blue curvy symbol on it; you aren’t sure what it means. 

You’re pretty sure the chemo has been making John feels chilly more often now.

Unfolding your legs, you slip off the bed. You stretch, slightly, your motions resembling a cat. John walks over, smiling goofily up at you. You twitch your lips slightly at him in response and reach for his hand, entwining your fingers together.

“Can we get a picture together to Dave? I would love to have one of us,” he beams at you and you nod at him. “Sure thing,” you respond as you both slip out of the door.

 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 

John trembles slightly against your arm that you have around him. You are laying, watching one of his Nic Cage movies with the lights off. Swiveling your head, you take him in. “You okay? You’re looking a bit green around the gills,” you ask, concerned.

He kind of just stares off at the television for a second, then gets up abruptly, cold air swishing around the side of your body and your arm. “I think the chemo is getting to me now,” he states, eyes kind of distantly staring. 

You get off the bed quickly, following him to the bathroom. He’s already hunched over the toilet, and you lean forward, snatching his glasses off before they slide off into the toilet below. 

He heaves heavily and you watch helplessly. 

After a while of John heaving, sweat has plastered his raven hair to his forehead. You reach out and get the hair off his damp face, hoping it will help slightly. He smiles sort of appreciatively at you, before turning his head back to the porcelain throne.

John gets all the contents from his stomach out and dry heaves slightly. You ache for him, because sometimes dry heaving his worse than actually getting something out.

He finally sits back, wiping at his mouth shakily and you lean forward and kiss his damp forehead. He smiles roughly at you.

His tired eyes travel down and stop on your hands, the smile fading completely. You give him a puzzled look and raise your hands. Just like before, with you, some raven hair is splayed on your hands this time.

“Had to happen sometime,” John finally says, shrugging. He gets up, and you jump up to make sure he is stable.

“Let’s just get this over with,” he states bluntly and you look at him solemnly before giving a slight nod of acknowledgment and going to get the same cutter that rid you of your hair. 

You bring it back and plug it in. “Would you like me to do it, or do you want to do it?” you ask, holding it up. He eyes it for a second and then looks up with a sad expression. “Could…could you do it?” he whispers softly, barely audible. You nod and turn it on. You run your hand through the raven locks one last time and he shuts his eyes, leaning into the motion. 

“Okay…here I go,” you warn him and he nods, keeping his eyes shut. You place the cutter to him and work as efficiently as possible, ridding him of his wild messy hair. You finish up and turn it off, the noisy whir that had been filling the bathroom gone. The room now dead quiet.

John opens his eyes slowly, bringing his hand up to touch his now bare head. “I guess we match now huh,” he laughs dryly. “I guess so,” you say, taking his hand in yours. 

You lead him back to bed and he curls up to you tightly. You feel him shake slightly, and you squeeze him in you grip some and lean down, kissing him lightly on his forehead, wiping a few tears away.

Not sure what other way to console him, you repeat those actions over a few times. Eventually John stops shaking as much. “Thanks Dave, I’m so glad I’m not alone,” he mutters tiredly. “No problem Egbert. Love you,” you whisper to him, but you’re pretty sure he has already fallen asleep.

After what feels like an eternity, you finally drift off into a restless slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, again first time writing something like this. Hope it's not awful and please don't hate me if it is (u_u)


	8. Chapter 8

“Come on in Dave,” a feminine voice says from the room. You get up slowly; you’re poker face firmly in place. The only one to have broken through that facade here is John.

You walk into a bland office, which of course has a big desk with a few chairs in front of it. You take your place and sit back on the chair to your left. Behind the desk is an older looking lady. Her face shows signs of age and she has oval glasses that glint the light back at you slightly. Her brunette hair is in a tight braid and her brown eyes glance up at your shades and then back to her report.

She lays the papers she was holding down and takes her glasses off her face. After she lays those down beside the report, she laces her fingers together and looks at you.

“Well Dave, your results just came in from the scan you had several days ago,” she states. You don’t say anything; just simply stare blankly like you did with the doctor from your first day here, waiting for her to get to the point.

It looks as if she is waiting for you to display some kind of reaction, but after a moment she looks back at the paper she was holding. “So as we stated when you were first started staying with us, the cancer you have was caught in good time.

Of course, we’ve followed its progress after chemo treatments just in case the tumor did anything unusual. But thankfully, nothing unusual has happened and it has gone down significantly in size,” she smiles at you warmly but your expression really doesn’t change. Oddly, this doesn’t seem to bother her. She just looks down at her paper and rambles more off the paper.

“So, you should be out of here soon. I doubt you’ll even be in here another month. Though, when you do get out of the hospital we will want you to come for checkups and the like. I guess that concludes that, so have a great day Dave,” she smiles, her eyes closing anime-like. She kind of raises her hand up in a goodbye and turns her attention back to her papers.

You just nod and mutter “thanks,” before slouching out of the room.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 

The room is quiet when you enter. John must also be getting his report. Somehow, both of the reports winded up being on the same day even though you don’t have chemo on the same day as John. You sigh loudly and go flop on your bed.

Your stomach twists painfully with the news you’re almost certain John will bring with him. He’s been getting slightly weaker. You can tell that much, even though you’ve never been anything but gentle with him. He’s, unbelievably, getting paler. Also, he’s getting thinner. He isn’t handling the chemo well at all. He hasn’t said anything to you personally but you can just tell.

You sit cross legged for a bit, twiddling your thumbs while you’re zoned out. You shake your head a bit, running your sword calloused hand across your scalp. You reach to your nightstand and draw up an envelope. Inside are copies of the pictures you and John took together on your walk a while back. His head still had its raven locks. You smiled sadly thinking of how time had progressed.

What if John did come back with the worst news possible?

This wasn’t just some story where some editor or author can throw ‘and they lived happily ever after’ at the end. Real life was hard. It was hard and no one understood.

 

You heard a slight scuttling and you turn you head a minuscule amount. Casey is looking at you with her tiny lizard eyes, just staring. You stare back for a second, your shades glinting from sunlight, and then finally move. Placing the envelope back on your nightstand, you shift over John’s side to the cage. You remove the cover and then dip your hand inside, gently lifting Casey. She stares at you a bit, flicking her tongue in and out.

Holding her, you lean back on your pillow and then place her on your chest. She sits for a second, just tasting the air. Finally, she starts scuttling around, moving forward quickly and then abruptly stopping.

You watch her lazily, your eyes half lidded. Sitting here watching her is making you feel drowsy, and after you think about it, you really didn’t sleep well last night.

You look around. The walls are still as sickly white to you as when you first started staying here. But John has distracted you from the negative side of this place. He’s been worth staying here.

Putting your hand down in front of Casey, she eventually climbs on it and flicks her tongue out. You pull her up close to your face, “time to go to back up little Casey,” you coo to her as you lean over and dip your hand into the cage. You hold your hand there until you heave out a big sigh and lean over you other hand and gently push her off. You close the cage and lean back on your pillow. 

The bed is messy from being pushed against John’s. You lean over a bit and breath in, smelling the sweet scent of John. 

He had told you that his father loved cooking for him when he was still alive; even though John seemed to hate many baked goods. It’s like the scent permeated everything he owned, as if it would be there forever.

You smile a little while you nuzzle into John’s pillow. You decide you’ll let some time slip by as you close your ruby eyes. 

Your dreams consist of John.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You hear the almost inaudible creak of the door as someone enters from the hallway, which successfully jars you out of your resting state. It clicks shut and you hear light footsteps; John’s gait.

Keeping your eyes closed, he walks over to his side of the room, and you hear rummaging. You have no clue but he stops and you hear him sit on one of the chairs that are dispersed throughout the room. Then you can hear the sound of pages being flipped. After a second you hear a light sniffle.

“John?” You ask, letting your eyes slide open. All you see of course is your nightstand and part of your pillow but you want to make sure you aren’t hearing things.

The sniffling and page turning makes an abrupt stop; you shift until you’re in an upright position to look at John. He has a blue beanie that you had gotten for him on his head, one side of it nearly covering his eye while the other is hiked up. His teeth are poking out and you can see his eyes shining a brilliant blue in contrast from the red ringing them. 

You’re out of the bed in a second and by his side. “What’s wrong babe?” you ask, your brow furrowing in concern. He shakes his head a bit and just closes his eyes. You lean down in front of him and kiss his forehead. When he doesn’t move, you swing him into your arms, successfully getting a yelp out of him. You dump him on the bed gently before walking to your own side to crawl on. 

When you get situated sitting Indian style you ask again, “What’s wrong?” He looks up at you sniffling again. “I’m sorry I woke you up,” John mutters, and he wouldn’t make complete eye contact with you. You lift your hand up slowly and cup his face; he closes his eyes and leans into the motion. “I wasn’t really that well asleep, I’m too alert when I can hear people moving outside. You know, from Bro and all,” you shrug a little and John cracks a small smile at that.

“What were you looking at?” you ask, deciding to distract him. Because you have a bad feeling you know why he was upset. 

His teeth are covered again from his smile fading as he looks at the little book. “They’re pictures,” he whispers, running his hand along the cover before opening it to a random page. “I know I haven’t shown you before, it’s painful though, you know?” He asks, looking up into your shades. You nod your acknowledgement even though you’ve never lost someone before. You really don’t want to learn what that’s like either.

“This is my dad,” he says pointing to a picture. The man was quite a bit taller in the picture than John was, his eyes matching the blue of John’s. He had a coat draped over his shoulder and his tie was askew but he was smiling like an idiot, while looking down at John who had an equally dorky grin on his face. John has a too big white fedora on his head and it looks like it’s about to cover his whole face.

He flips the page and points to another picture, “That was my nana,” he states, smiling. “I didn’t really know her well but she loved baking too and she always made me sweets as a kid, even though I protested. 

The elderly lady is standing by John’s dad, smiling the same buck-toothed grin that John displays. Her eyes were a slightly lighter blue but they were just as vibrant. She held her hand behind her son’s back, holding bunny ears over the top of his fedora, while dad assumingly unknowing just smiled at the camera.

“I don’t really have any other family,” John says suddenly staring down at the picture. You look over at him and start talking again. “I had a mom of course, I mean it’s not like I showed up randomly on a meteor. But she left before I could even remember and we never talked about her.

So I don’t know anything about that side of my family and the other side was all kind of older so I don’t have any close family. Just probably some distant cousins.”

You slither your arm around him and scoot closer to him to wrap your arm behind him entirely. You pull him gently until he’s leaning against your shoulder.

“Would you like to have some fine Strider cuddles?” you ask and he chuckles lightly and nods. You pull him back and you both fall onto the bed. He nuzzles up against you and even though the sun hasn’t yet set, you feel as though you could go to sleep like this.

 

After a while of cuddling, when you’re not sure if John is asleep or not he finally speaks, “They got my results in today,” he mutters and you almost miss it since you were zoned out. You turn your head toward him slightly and he continues, “It’s not looking good. The way it’s going I…I won’t last long. There’s this surgery that has a low chance of working and they may take that option if they have to,” he whispers.

You turn your full body to him now and embrace him entirely. He gets as close to you as possible and you can feel how tense he is.

You wish you could say something. But what are you supposed to say?

‘You’ll be fine’? ‘Everything will be ok’? Because that was a lie and both of you knew it.

So you opt for the second best thing. You dip your head down and give him a passionate kiss, enough to make him forget his worries for a split second. 

When you finally release his lips he smiles up at you, blue eyes glistening and you just kiss the tip of his nose. 

“Would you like to watch a movie Egbert?” you ask, wanting to distract him as long as you could. He smiles, and you’re pretty sure you know that he knows what you’re doing but he nods anyway, letting you slip out of his arms.

You go and get Con-Air because you know John loves that movie. 

You enjoy the sound of his voice as he quotes nearly every word, trying to capture the exact emotion of the actor. Smiling against his scalp, you place a small kiss on top and let him do his thing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW...

“Who says it has a low chance of working? Cause you know, I looked that shit up on the internet and it looks pretty positive to what you were saying,” you let your shades fall slightly to squint up at him from the board game between you two.

He smiles a bit apologetically, “I mean, I really don’t know the exact chances, but I mean, it can be hard to find a match if you don’t have siblings or you know any family. Period.” You frown a bit at that, “what do you mean?”

“I mean, I have to get an allogeneic bone marrow transplant, which means it requires someone else donating some bone marrow,” his mouth tightens slightly and his brows furrow in worry, he stares down at the board game.

You shrug, “Dude, if you need someone to donate you know I would be more than willing to give some of my precious marrow up,” you say, leaning over the small round table to plant a quick kiss on his forehead.

He turns his blue eyes up at you and smiles sheepishly. “Well that would be fine and dandy if you had matching bone marrow, but besides having the same blood type, I’m pretty sure it gets more specific that just that,” he shrugs, his eyes shutting behind his glasses. 

Your lips twitch up a bit, thought you are still worried even with your research on Complete Bullshit that Bro installed on your laptop. You pick up the dice on your board game and shake them good. You put your hand towards John and he gives you a questioning look.

“Blow on them,” you say matter-of-factly. “Really John, come on”.

“Uh…dude, I’m playing against you…why would I want to give you luck or whatever if I’m playing against you?” he rolls his eyes and then places them back on you. You in turn look over the top of your shades, staring him down. “Uuugh! Fine!” he exclaims and blows on them. 

You smirk before tossing them on the board, moving your iron to the boardwalk. “Fuck yeah, I’m buying that shit, hook me up babe,” you smile, holding out your monopoly money. He sighs, rolling his eyes once again before cracking a smile. He takes the money and puts it back in the little bank. 

John hesitates for a second before his grin dims back down to a thin line. He looks up into your shades, his eyes tinted with worry. He gives a quick small smile that doesn’t touch his eyes as he hands you the card for boardwalk. You give him a look that’s lost through your shade-covered gaze as you hand him a bit more money, “one house please.” “‘Kay,” is all he says, fumbling around until he finds a little house and hands it to you.

“Alright. What’s eating your fine ass, Egbert?” you ask in Strider casualty. You know what it is but you just want John to share his feelings about the whole situation.

He doesn’t say anything and laces his fingers together on the table-top. After a few moments, he reaches over and touches the back of your hand while taking the dice up in his other hand, and dumping them back onto the board. He moves his fedora hat piece a few spaces over before offering them to you. You quirk your eyebrows a bit at the gesture but lace your fingers through his and take the dice from him without question.

“Do you think life is just a big game, Dave?” he mutters quietly. His eyes slide from the table to lock onto yours, his face all seriousness. 

Well that’s a sudden question. You think hard about it for a minute, eyebrows knitting together in thought, before lifting the dice to your lips and blowing gently. You let them fall to the middle of the board. You quickly move your small iron past go, while John grabs two hundred dollars and lays it in front of you.

“I don’t think it’s a game at all,” you finally state, handing him the dice. “Honestly, I think it’s a gamble.” This earns a curious look from John and damn, that looks adorable on him. Lifting the corner of your lips up slightly, you gesture to the board game in front of you.

“I mean, look at this fine example here,” your free hand sweeping over the game in the air. “You really don’t know what you’re going to get. I didn’t know I would get the Boardwalk, and even though I have it, it doesn’t mean I’ll win. It’s all up in the air and the slightest things can change someone’s whole situation or experience.

“It’s not the best example albeit but you get the gist of it,” you shrug as he shakes the dice and drop them onto the board. He buys the property he lands on and quickly upgrades it. 

“I guess,” is all he says, chewing at his bottom lip. You level a look at him as he hands you the dice, your other hand still intertwined with his. “Look, with a game, you can sort of see how things will go. Gambling is a whole ‘nother story. You may have a feeling about something, may have some sort of notion. But you can never be certain. You can make the best out of whatever is thrown your way though. I mean if a dog is tossed a steak, great. Like someone being tossed all the good things in life. If a dog is thrown a bone, they don’t fucking care, they still make the best out of it. 

“So it really boils down to, just the tiniest things and what you feel will happen.” You release your gaze with him to roll your dice again, landing on some of John’s property. You hand over the colorful monopoly money.

“Thanks Dave,” he whispers, picking the dice back up.

 

 

Turns out you don’t have very good odds at monopoly. You may have gotten boardwalk, but John quickly monopolized everything he could and it made it hard for you to go anywhere without landing on some money mine. 

That fucking adds up after several turns.

Needless to say John wins which hurts your Strider pride a fraction but you don’t let John see that. He’s just all grins about winning. Apparently he’s really fucking great at strategizing board games. Who knew?

 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You come into consciousness slowly. You feel John shifting slightly in front of you from where you’re curled around him, spooning. Thinking that he’s just shifting in his sleep, you start to let yourself slip back to slumber when you barely catch a small strained, “Dave.” You aren’t sure if you heard it, but if it wasn’t really there your imagination has definitely made you wake up. 

Tensing up slightly as you come to full wakefulness you wait for him to make some other noise. “Are you awake Dave?” he whispers, barely making a noise again.

“Yeah, I am,” you breathe into his ear. He tenses up like he’s shocked. “I’m sorry if I woke you up,” he says quietly and you shrug, “it’s not a problem, I woke up before you even said anything.”

You both lay there quietly now for several minutes. You’re pretty sure John is still awake because of how tense he feels but you can’t be sure. “Dave…” he finally mutters, and you wait because you’re fairly sure he has more to say. Finally he adds, “You know how you said life is a gamble?” you just nod in response, fairly positive he can feel the motion. “I don’t think my gamble is going to work out very well for me in the end.” His voice grows thick by the end of his statement.

Furrowing your brows in worry, you tighten your arms around him, kissing the back of his bare scalp. “No, no, you’ll be ok babe; don’t think so negatively, that transplant will help you get better, yeah?” You say, not sure who you’re trying to convince. 

He shakes his head in disagreement. “No, it’s a feeling I have, and I mean, I guess my feelings have been wrong before so it could be this time…I don’t know,” he sighs, rolling in you grip to face you. His blue eyes are clear and staring straight into your red ones.

“But, if so, I don’t want to die not knowing what it feels like to be with you,” he continues, his stare unwavering. You feel a wave of shock go through you. 

Wait, was he asking to go all the way in the dead of night?

“W-what?” you stutter uncharacteristically, nervousness apparent in you now. That doesn't seem to affect John though as he continues, “I want to know what it feels to be with you and I’m just getting weaker. I know you can tell. Plus after my transplant they’ll probably have me hooked up to all kinds of things, and I really don’t want them to observe my heart rate going up and getting interrupted.” He smiles a bit timidly now, his buckteeth showing and he finally breaks his eyes from yours to look down a bit.

You kind of just…lay there in shock for a second. That is until John looks back up at your lips and slides up to press his mouth against yours. 

Your eyes widen with a little bit of shock. And mainly sleep deprivation. Because Striders don’t get shocked.

It’s a sweet, chaste kiss at first but soon John is pressing heavily against your lips, almost desperately. He nips at your bottom lip with his front teeth and you gasp slightly, leaving him enough room to slide his tongue in. Your red eyes flutter shut finally and the arm that is pinned under John, you use to grope at the back of his scalp. You slide your other arm to grip his waist gently.

One of John’s arms is pinned but he places his free hand on the side of your neck and tangles his legs with yours.

After a while he moves his hand down to slide down, groping at the front of your pajama pants. You let out a surprised puff of air, already hard from being asleep and John’s touch brings your mind back to your need.

He gives you a dorky smile and moves his lips to your neck, nibbling gently under your chin. You tilt your head up out of reflex and he takes full advantage of that. He licks up your neck until he reaches your ear and encompasses it with his mouth. You shiver at the warmth of his mouth. He finally relinquishes your ear and you feel his breath snake across your wet ear.

“I want you to fuck me Dave,” he whispers into your ear and as if that isn’t one of the sexiest things you’ve ever heard.

But you’re unsure; you don’t want John to regret this later on. “John, are you sure? It could be a bit uncomfortable or painful,” you mutter, not wanting to lose your chance, but not wanting to leave John in the dark until it was too late.

He looks up into your eyes with his big blue ones, squinting a little since he didn’t have his glasses on. “Dave, yes. I’ve thought it over and I do want to even though it may be uncomfortable. I don’t want to regret it when it’s too late if I don’t,” he states and you feel his hand squeeze you through you pants again.

You push him over onto his back and he yelps out in surprise. “Shut up, it’s not funny,” he growls at you after you give an airy chuckle. 

You put your arms on either side of him for support and straddle his waist. You can feel his growing arousal beneath you and that just turns you on further.

Leaning down, you nibble at his neck, lick up the area and then repeat. John shivers each time you lick and you can hear soft, tiny pants emerging from him.

After you’ve worked him up a bit, you finally start to slide down his waist, grabbing the bottom of his shirt and lifting until he leans up slightly so you can remove it completely, so you can lick and nip gently at his nipple. After you’ve worked one side for a while you move to the other and repeat.

You finally trail kisses down his stomach and to the waistline of his pants and look up at him. His blue eyes laden with lust. You smirk up at him before hooking your fingers into his pants and dragging them and his underpants all down in one fair move. You lean up onto your knees to drag his pants completely off of him and take in the sight of him completely naked.

His eyes are still heavy and he’s panting lightly; you’re not sure if that’s from excitement, nervousness, a mix of both or something else entirely. His thin frame almost glows in the dim light of the room produced by Casey’s cage. Didn’t lizards like for lights to be off too? 

“I love you,” you state and you his whole body flushes slightly in response. “I love you too Dave,” he says and he just looks too adorable like that.

After admiring John a little longer, you bend down to lick up the underside of his cock. You hear a barely audible whine come from the back of his throat and you can’t help but smile. “I-it’s not fair that you, nnnhhh….still have clothes on is, ah, is it?” He finally gets out as you make a seal over the tip of his dick.

There is a light popping sound as you withdraw from him to smile up innocently. “Would you like me to remove my clothes for you John?” you smirk up at him enough to show your white teeth. He blushes further and covers his face with his hands. “U-uh…yes?” he mutters through his fingers. 

You lean up completely off him and swing your legs off the bed. Waiting for a second, you finally see John peak through his fingers and you lift up your shirt slowly, revealing your skinny frame. After removing the shirt completely you hook your thumbs into your waistline and pull down, your dick already erect from lust.

His hands have slid off his face by now and he’s staring at your naked form unabashedly. You crawl back onto the bed and immediately take in John again. He gasps in surprise at the sudden warmth surrounding him and bucks up slightly.  
He moans as you build up a rhythm of going down slowly and pulling back up to the very tip to swipe a lick over it and repeating. You can feel John growing more frantic with his motions; growling louder with his keens as you pull away entirely

John gives a noise of complaint and points annoyed blue eyes at you. “Do you still want to go all the way?” you ask and you feel your cock twitch with interest, dripping fluids already. John bites at his lower lip and nods.

You lean up and over him slightly to reach to the supplies that have now long been stored there where you thought you’d never use them.

Sitting the lube down beside your knee, you open the condom box to grab one out and set it by the bottle before returning to John’s cock to give it another appreciative lick. 

Then you flick the lid to the lube open and pour a generous amount onto your fingers. “Spread your legs babe,” you breathe out. John complies without hesitation and you take in the sight of his strained cock, precum sliding down from the tip. You move your gaze down slightly and move your hand to rest over his center. “It’s cold,” he shivers. “You won’t notice that in a few minutes,” you reply, massaging at the tight hole. 

You slowly press a lubricated finger into him and you feel him tighten up around you as he starts breathing faster. “Shh shhh, it’s ok you just have to relax,” you say soothingly, stilling your motion so you can wait for him to relax again.

After he relaxes you push in the rest of the way to your knuckle and slowly pull out again. Then repeat. After you can do this without trouble, you add another finger. You scissor as you try to prepare him the best you can. Finally you add a third finger, picking up speed until your fucking him with your hand. 

He screams out in surprised pleasure and you smile, knowing you finally found his sweet spot. “You ready Egbert?” you ask as you continue your movements. “Yes!” he strains out, immediately biting at his lip to withhold a scream. John gasps at the change as you remove your fingers

You pick up the condom with your clean hand and tear it open with your mouth; you should’ve thought that part out a bit better.

After removing the condom you slide it on with your clean hand and then add more lubrication, pumping yourself to spread it along the condom.

You wipe the rest on the bed sheets as you pick up John’s legs to put them on either side of you. You guide yourself to press against John’s center before slowly pushing in. 

John grips at the bed sheets and pants heavily, his chin pointed up at the ceiling; a light sheen of sweat is glistening on his ghostly skin. After you’re all the way in you hold still, waiting for John to relax again. Sitting there is almost torture for you with your urge to thrust in the tight heat.

“O-ok…I’m…good,” he pants, smiling up at you; eyes have closed. You almost pull completely out before pushing back in slightly faster. John finally loosens up enough that you can move at a reasonable pace. 

Grabbing his legs somewhat, you shift him until you can brush up against his prostrate with your penis. He keens loudly and moves his hands to grope at your back. You moan as you feel him tighten a bit around you as you move with him.

You lean down to kiss at him deeply both of you breathe heavily out of your noses. “You’re perfect,” you breathe against his lips. He smiles up at you, eyes dilated in arousal.

As you thrust, he starts to move his hips to meet with you, successfully allowing you to push in further and you bite at your lips and let your head fall slightly, groaning.

You reach down between the two of you to take his erection into your hand and you pump in time with your thrust. He keens loudly, throwing his head back, seeming to lose all coordination to meet your thrust.

“Cum for me,” you groan, and after a few more pumps he cums with a scream, the fluid splashing on both of you. You continue as he rides out his release and as he tightens around you, you find your release. After you both come down, you pull out slowly and John wriggles in discomfort.

You pull the condom up and tie it off, throwing it towards the trashcan and actually making it. “Scoreeee,” you say before flopping down beside John. He curls up beside you as you encompass him in your arms. He sighs contentedly and nuzzles into your chest.

“That was the best choice ever,” he sighs, kissing at your skin. You kiss his scalp. “It really was,” you reply happily.

Both of you drift into a blissful slumber.


	10. Chapter 10

You wake up to rays of light filtering in through the dingy curtains. Dust particles are floating without purpose through the undisturbed air. 

Turning your head to the side, you look over to see John still fast asleep. The way he’s curled up with his hands under his head and his buck teeth poking over his lower lip makes you smile. John’s face looks completely unperturbed.

You’re not really sure how long you lay there staring at him, taking in his thin face, but eventually you hear a small noise come from the back of his throat and his eyes squint together slightly as he raises a hand to rub at them. He slowly opens his eyes and they are a dazzling shade of blue in the given light.

He smiles up at you after he comes into full consciousness. You close the short distance to plant a small kiss on his forehead. “Good morning John,” you smile at him as you pull away. “Good morning Dave,” he yawns slightly and his eyes crinkle up. 

He leans up, then remembering last night, looks down to see that he’s completely naked. John turns a bright red color before covering himself up futilely with the bed’s blankets. “Nothing I haven’t seen already,” you laugh out, cracking a grin. “Shut up,” he growls, looking like he’s contemplating how to get up.

“Want me to carry you?” you ask and before he can respond, you bridle style pick him up. He yelps and clings to your neck like a lifeline. “Daaaaaaveeee,” he whines, “put me downnnnnn.” 

“No can do. Trust me, you’re not going to feel like walking for a bit,” you reply. He makes a frustrated noise as you enter the bathroom and set him on his feet in front of the toilet. John seems to test his weight out and winces slightly when he moves wrong; you give him an apprehensive look and he waves you off. “It really doesn’t hurt as much as it’s just….weird,” he states before adding, “Now get out Dave, I really have to piss and I don’t need your help with that!” 

He chases you out of the bathroom and you hear the click of the lock behind you. “I could still get in that bathroom no problem if I wanted,” you mutter to yourself as you walk over and pull out your clothes from dresser. You’re having your last chemo session today so theoretically you can leave the hospital pretty soon. Of course you aren’t going to leave John there alone though.

You hear the shower come on, and you really can’t blame John, he probably had more dried cum on him than you. To be a good person, you go over to John’s side of the room and grab some underpants for him; then you head over and lay them by the bathroom door.

You flop back onto your bed and pull your laptop with you to bide the time until you can take your own shower.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

About fifteen minutes later John pokes his head out of the door and smiles brightly when he sees the boxers waiting for him. He slips back in for a minute then emerges to go searching for more clothes. 

“I figured I would go ahead and do my stuff since you take forever,” he states as he finds a shirt and goes to look for pants.

“Hey, I don't take that long,” you reply, making sure to sound hurt and making a fake pouty face.

You slide off the bed and stretch languidly to go take your own ablutions.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

After you finally emerge forty five minutes later with steam coming off your skin, you find John on his bed with Casey scampering around on his now clothed stomach. “Playing with our daughter?” you joke and John smiles fondly, “Yeah,” he replies simply.

You walk over and press a button on your cell phone. “Ah damn, I’ve got to go to that therapy session, you’re going to be here when I get back though right?” you ask, turning to look at him again. He rolls his eyes up in though, pausing in his actions. “uuuuh….Actually I think I’m meeting up with the doctor to tell me how the surgery is going to be handled tomorrow, but I’ll be back after that,” he says, rolling his eyes back down to meet them with your gaze. 

“Ok, I’ll see you whenever then,” you reply before snatching up your shades and sliding them on.

 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

 

“It’ll be ok Dave, I’m not going to die in surgery, sheeeeeeeesh,” he drones out, rolling his eyes for emphasis. You press your mouth into a thin line in reply. “Seriously Dave, it’ll just be a few hours. I just probably won’t feel like moving after, I'm assuming at least,” he rolls his eyes up in thought, looking at the ceiling. 

“I’m still allowed to worry, Egbert,” you deadpan out, your shades successfully camouflaging the worry in your eyes. He gives you his famous dorky smile and chuckles before leaning up to kiss the tip of your nose.

As he’s withdrawing from you, both of you freeze as you hear a knock on the door. “Mr. Egbert, it’s time to go,” a female voice calls through the door. John sighs heavily and you see the joking attitude drain from him. “I’ll walk with you,” you tightly smile, clasping his hand in yours. 

“Thanks,” he replies, looking a little relieved.

 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You wring your hands together nervously in your lap, your foot giving a sporadic beat. You could wait more comfortably in your room; it really isn’t that far down the hall. It would probably be possible to pass the time faster and cut your needless worrying down by half.

But no, you are going to stay right here. You know John would want you to even though he will not be conscious when he comes out, or you assume he won’t be. 

 

Time somehow passes and you hear some voices just beyond the door. You raise your head up to watch and finally a few people emerge and look to see you. “I’m guessing you're here to see John, eh?” the doctor asks and you’ve never seen this one before, he must specialize in this area. 

“Yeah, I am,” you reply, standing up and shoving your pale slender fingers into your pockets.

The doctor nods and then proceeds talking, “well, good news, the operation was a success. If John’s body accepts it, he should be in the clear.” You give the doctor a look, “What if it doesn’t accept it?” you finally ask, hating to break your usual silence.

He gets a bit of an uneasy look on his face. “Well, try to be positive,” he says and you just glare at him. He must feel it through your shades because he shifts slightly and holds his palms out in surrender. “Ok, well, if engraftment doesn’t take place like planned, if his body isn’t exactly compatible, either it won’t do anything and or he could get infection. Which infection can be minor or major, it really depends on the person, but we’ll be watching him carefully,” he gives a solemn look and turns to go back in. 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You smile as John drowsily opens his blue eyes. “Well good morning sleeping beauty,” you smirk at him as you stand to walk to his side. They’d had to push the beds apart to make room to put John on his since he was determined to stay out cold.

He lets a sloppy grin slip onto his face as he blinks his eyes a few times, finally focusing them on you.

“Uggh I’m still tired,” he whines, sitting up. “You didn’t have to get anesthesia did you? They are able to put the IV in with you awake right?” You ask, arching one slim eyebrow up. 

“Uh, yeah like I'm going to watch them do that shit, uhhhhh noooo,” he replies, swinging his legs off the bed. He grins up at you, rocking forward on his tip toes to kiss the tip of your nose. You ruffle your hand on his scalp and he waves your hand off with a playfully annoyed looks and scampers off to the bathroom.

You really hope this surgery turns for the better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ughhh sorry for the short chapter, this was supposed to be the last one but there'll be another, maybe two more, not sure. I'm just really tired as of late, sorry again.


	11. Chapter 11

“Mr. Strider, you’re going to be fine. The results came back and you can move back home now,” the female doctor says, smiling stiffly at you, her brown eyes lifting up momentarily from the papers she was holding.

You stare at her, unmoving slightly before you decide to comment. “Thank you, but I really would like to stay with John for now,” you reply, watching her jump slightly. That’s probably the longest sentence she’s ever heard from you. She gives you a slightly annoyed look, her brown eyes narrowing minutely. “Mr. Strider, we aren’t in need of room currently but if we need to admit a new patient, we may need the area you’ve been occupying for your stay.”

You level your glare at her, even though your gaze is covered. “Well you just said, you aren’t in need of the room currently. So I don’t see what the problem will be, and if you need it, I’ll move my shit out and just stay in a chair.”

She raises a manicured hand to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration, her eyes screwing shut. “Ok, look. We can let you stay a little longer, but not much, ok? Then you’ll have to come on visiting hours like everyone else,” She opens her brown eyes and stares at you, as if challenging you. And usually, you would accept a challenge, but you decide not to push it, knowing they can kick you out if you are no longer in medical needs.

“Sure,” you reply, nodding faintly. You get up, slightly hunched over with your hands tucked in your pocket and walk out.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

When you walk in you find John asleep with a book across his chest. He’s been sleeping a lot lately and it’s been quite nerve-racking for you. You’ve watched him grow weaker and weaker. His skin gives off a faint sickly hue now. 

The bone marrow didn’t take. Because it was from someone else not related, there was a low chance of it working plus his cancer had progressed pretty far by the decision making point. You’re pretty angry that they didn’t do it sooner, and you’ve stated that very openly to John. He reassures you that they weren’t sure if it would do any good and they didn’t want to risk him getting a bad infection.

Which he did get. But he’s mostly over that now, of course with some of his immunity gone. When his body was fighting the infection off, it made him much more susceptible to other usually inconsequential strands of colds. You had been terrified to touch him or even breathe on him. He had lightly chuckled at you for that, nose crinkling and buck teeth poking out from behind his lips.

You walk over and lightly sit on the bed, trying not to wake John. You pick the book up off his chest and grab his bunny bookmark to slide in. Flipping it over, you read How to Become a Pranking Master and you smirk at that. John had successfully pulled the classic bucket of water on top of the door trick when you had just gotten out of the shower one day; just a few days after his surgery. 

Which was kind of pointless since you had already been wet from the shower.

That stunt had made you make sure to check for his pranks everywhere, much to John’s dismay. 

You guess John was trying to read up on how to be sneakier to once again prank you. 

After you lay the book down on his side table, along with your shades, and kick off your shoes, you scrunch your lanky body on the side of the bed, curling around him to some extent, content to lay there beside him. You look up at his face after your laying down and notice his glasses are still in place. Carefully reaching up, you pluck his off and lay them beside your shades.

What has probably been thirty minutes later, you feel John stir. You crack one fiery eye open. John’s face is scrunched up like he’s unpleasantly waking up. After another moment, he opens a pair of bleary blue eyes. His eyes widen, suddenly awake when he sees you beside him. “Oh! Sorry I didn’t know you were back Dave, you could’ve woken me up,” he says, biting at his bottom lips and squinting his before he starts to pat his face, looking for his glasses.

“I took them off; here,” you say, twisting your body so you can reach his glasses and gently putting them on his face. He blinks a few times, his eyes adjusting and he looks at you and grins. “What’d they call you in for?” he asks, curiosity spreading across his face.

“Oh nothing really,” you shrug nonchalantly, not wanting to stress John out by the possibility of you having to leave unless you absolutely had to.

He narrows his eyes a little before he kind of just drops it and nuzzles into your chest. You wrap your arms around him tightly and kiss the top of his bald head. 

“What are you going to do once I’m gone?” he asks suddenly. He doesn’t move, just breathes into your chest. You freeze up, stunned for a second. “Don’t think like that John-“ “No seriously Dave, it would take a miracle. I just really don’t want you to be a lost puppy when I'm gone. Because inside you’re just a big adorable puppy,” he says, turning his head so his eyes can meet yours. He’s grinning like he didn’t just talk about being dead.

He pushes up to meet your lips and they move together chastely. After he breaks away, leaving you licking your lips as he once again presses tightly against your chest. You wrap your arms around him and rest your chin against the top of his head.

You don’t want to think about life without him, but he’s determined to talk about it.

 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

It’s been several days since John tried to last talk to you about his condition. You try to subject change every time, not wanting to acknowledge the plain fact that he does look weaker. One night, when your cuddled up to him in sleep, you feel a light kiss on you're the bottom f you chin, successfully waking you up. You open your eyes slowly, drifting from sleep to find John staring at you. 

“Dave, you’re going to take care of Casey right?” he asks you, big blue eyes staring at you. You furrow your brows. “I’ll help take care of Casey if that’s what you mean,” you reply. “Dave seriously!” he exclaims, eyes closing in frustration. That’s the angriest you’ve ever seen John. “Ok, ok Egbert! Get your panties out of a twist, yes, yes I will I won’t abandon our metaphorical daughter.”

He smiles up at you then, eyes opening and his body relaxing. “Good. You can have my stuff too if you want it. I just have this feeling, you know? I can literally feel it in my bones.”

You frown in reply but he leans up to kiss the edges of your mouth then your nose. “I couldn’t sleep, I was worried. Sorry Dave I didn’t mean to wake you. I love you,” he smiles, cuddling up to you. You wrap your arms around him and squeeze lightly.

You close your eyes tightly shut, preventing anything even close to tears from escaping your eyes.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

John’s in bad shape. He hasn’t really gotten up much lately and the nurses come and check on him a lot. Even though you’re probably kind of a nuisance still being there, they show you what buttons to push in case of an emergency. You nod, showing you’ve absorbed the information.

Since he’s stopped functioning as much, they’ve hooked up a monitor to keep him in check. The nurse’s who walk in to check on him every now and then always have a sad look on their faces, and you hate them for it.

After they finally stop humming around the room like a beehive, you finally have John time. You both curl up together and talk of things that both of you always wanted to do.

You discuss what good kid names would be and what your imaginary kids would be like. John thinks they’d want to pick up the trade of pranking while you state they’d learn first hand what real strifing is like.

So your kids would probably be hellions.

A few days later, John once again wakes you up. The sun is glowing pink outside with the blooming dawn. “Dave...” he mutters and you shift a bit as you wake up, your body automatically being careful of the wires. John is curled tightly against you and he’s shivering slightly.

“Jesus!” you exclaim, wrapping him into you tighter. “You’re like a giant fucking ice cube!” You rub your hands back and forth across his skin as he chuckles airily. Then his face sobers up and gets serious again.

“Dave. It’s time. I feel myself slipping,” he says and you freeze, panic quickly engulfing you.

No. No no no. This couldn’t be happening. Not to John. Not to you.

“John, no, you’re just cold and tired it’s ok,” the words slip out of your mouth, tumbling over each other. “Dave, I’ve known I was going to die. It’s ok, it’s a part of life and we’ve both had time to accept it. Especially being here.” He states.

“I’ll call the nurses, it’ll be ok,” you reply, almost frantically, starting to turn to reach the button. “No, Dave, don’t,” he grabs your arm, stopping you. You could easily pull out of his grip but instead your turn back to engulf him in your own embrace.

The constant beeping from the monitor is driving you insane.

The light glints across his skin, showing off just how pale he’s become. His eyes are tired, but he smiles up at you as he scoots up and meets your mouth.

At first it’s slow, light and tempered, but quickly grows into something feverish and frantic; the monitor quickly picking up tempo. He slides his tongue against your teeth as you quickly reply. Both of you sliding your hands against each other, finding purchase to hold on to. Your hands go to the small of his back and the back of his neck while his goes to the side of your face and your side.

When you finally break apart both of you are panting but he kisses you one last time before settling into the warmth of your body; the monitors pace dying back down to a steady slow rhythm. 

“Lay with me please,” he asks, sounding scared for the first time since he showed you the pictures of his family. “I’m not going to leave your side Egbert,” you reply, trying to sound normal. “Good. Dave?” he asks, his voice sounding tired. “Yeah?” you ask, almost whispering. 

“I love you,” he states, and you can hear the smile in his voice. “I love you too. Always,” you reply, kissing the top of his head.

You feel him drift back into slumber; his body relaxing; the thumps of the monitor slowing down. And eventually, along with the rhythm the monitor is giving out, you feel his breathing slow and eventually stop.

Lying there, you imagine everything is ok while the warmth still clings to his body.

But as it finally sinks in, you let one painful, heart wrenching howl out; tears brimming onto your cheeks, you cry into him, hugging him close. The sound from the monitor blends into the sounds of your sobs. You don’t want to ever leave John, but you know that they’ll eventually have to get him anyway. 

A few minutes later they enter the room to find you weeping into your lost loved one. 

 

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

You feel a gloved hand settle on your shoulder. You don’t move though, you really don’t acknowledge the owner. You just stand there, face downcast, arms crossed over your chest.

“Dave. I know it’s hard, but we need to start heading for home. It’s almost dark anyway; plus it’s going to be a long drive,” you hear Bro’s voice almost mutter. 

But, you really don’t want to leave John’s side. You stare at the gravestone, the surface shining brightly. Glancing over, you see his father’s and his nana’s names on the plot right beside John’s. You vaguely wonder for a second why neither of them are buried with their spouses.

A cold Washington breeze dances through the little hair you now have and you shiver, closing your red eyes. For some odd reason, it reminds you of John; of how playful and care-free he was.

“I miss him Bro,” you choke out, a tear slipping from under your shades. You bring your sleeve covered hand up to rub off the tear. This is probably the most emotional Bro has seen you since you were five.

He pats your shoulder, and then grabs it firmly. You look up at him, wondering if he’s going to try to drag you off. But instead, he pulls you into a tight embrace. Your crimson eyes widen in surprise and your body is incredibly stiff. Finally you relax into his grip and awkwardly slide your arms around him. Even though you’re tall, Bro is taller so his head is above yours.

Finally he lets go and you shuffle back and look up at him. From this distance, you can vaguely see his eyes and they are painted with worry. “I know you love him kid, we’ve all loved and lost people. The only thing now is to keep living for both of ya’ll,” he states, his Texan drawl coming out. You look at your shoes for a second and finally look back over at the grave. You walk over and kneel in front of it, knees digging into the soft brown soil. You idly adjust some flowers that were placed around it. Finally you look up at John’s engraved name.

“I’ll always love you. I’ll be back,” you whisper, before pushing yourself up off the ground and turning around to walk towards Bro. He smiles at you, turning also, and leads the way to the truck. When you both are finally strapped in, he revs the engine up and starts to pull away from the lonely graveyard.

‘I will see you again,’ you think to yourself as you stare at John’s grave.

You gaze at his grave until you can’t see it anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After I got about halfway through this when I was first writing it, I had to leave it alone for a day or two because I made myself so upset.
> 
> Even though it has a sad ending, I hope you enjoyed the ride.
> 
> Please don't hate me u_u 
> 
> And thank you everyone who has supported me!


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